Steve and I watched an interesting but strange movie last night called "The Pledge". The theme is about a promise a retired detective made to the mother of a murdered child. He was unable to keep that promise, and it eventually cost him everything he cared about, including perhaps his sanity.
As you can imagine, the victimization of children in the movie brought to mind my recent trial experience, sitting on a jury for a case involving the sexual molesation of an 8 year old boy. It also brought back memories of my own childhood, the childhood years of my kids and my parents.
It got me thinking about my long running joke about having lived every 'afterschool special'. There are very few difficult situations that I can't relate to at some level out of my own experience.
I've found my way through some harrowing things over the years. I should be a basket case. I really should. I should be muttering nonsense while I walk around in circles in the corner of a padded room, bumping into the wall again and again. I should be afraid to walk out my front door, and afraid to let people in, literally as well as figuratively.
I've experienced a lot of things I hope you never do, but I'm still standing.
I carry some extra weight - is that emotional insulation? Probably. I've tried every suggestion from the doc and the nutritionist to no avail. I have a lot of allergies, and have been unable to resolve them in any meaningful way either. A little arthritis? Well who doesn't at my age?! I get wound up about certain things that make no sense to anyone but me (and Sheldon).
I'm not perfect, but I'm still standing.
Humans are incredibly resiliant. We can be rocked to the core and still bend. We can feel stretched to the breaking point again and again and again and still not break. We can ultimately choose what to take from any experience. We can overcome simply by deciding against being a victim. Whatever that ability is, last week I saw it in the boy who had to explain to a room full of strangers exactly what a long time family friend did after saying "Don't tell your mom".
And today... I see it in myself, and I'm still standing.
Are you? Is there something in your life you need to deal with? What's keeping you from it? Take the first step today. Don't waste another minute on anything that is keeping you from being the best 'you' you can be.